Stop Settling For The Bare Minimum | ZBW

Something I struggle with is believing I deserve more than the bare minimum— or even trusting that more exists.  How are you supposed to believe more than the bare minimum exists when you’ve never experienced it in certain aspects of life?  It’s easy to accept behavior you’re used to because it’s familiar. But comfort and fulfillment are not the same thing. And sometimes, the comfort is just a lack of chaos—not actual care. For example, relationships & friendships. It’s easy to accept behavior that you’re used to because that’s all you know. But how are you supposed to feel valid in expecting more or not settling when you’re not used to it? It’s hard not to settle, especially when the alternative feels like emptiness. In the moment, even crumbs can feel like a feast when you’ve been starving. I used to think any connection was better than none, until I learned that silence is kinder than words that make you doubt your worth. That no friends were better than fake friends. And not being in a relationship was better than being in a relationship where you constantly feel unappreciated, unloved, unvalued, and misunderstood. Because with the right person, you won’t need to try so hard to feel seen and heard. We often think we need to earn love, but real love doesn’t keep a scoreboard. With the right people, you won’t feel like you have to prove your value. You won't feel like your needs are “too much”—they’ll be seen as valid, as human. Your sensitivity, your standards, your desire to feel deeply connected—that's not a flaw. That’s the compass that points you toward what you truly need and deserve. Your basic needs will always be too much for an emotionally unavailable person. The right person won't be intimidated by your depth or standards; they'll meet you there. Healthy love exists, and you deserve it. So don’t settle for less than exactly what you want. Have patience in waiting a little longer for the things you deserve, because I promise they are out there. And yes, patience is hard. But waiting is not wasted time—it's a space for healing and learning how to trust yourself again. Every time you choose not to settle, you are sending a message to your future: “I believe something better is possible.” And it is. Your basic needs will always feel like too much for someone who doesn’t have the capacity to meet them. But to the right people, your needs won’t feel like demands—they’ll feel like invitations to deeper connection. Healthy love exists, and it won't ask you to shrink. You deserve to feel chosen without begging. Loved without performing. Heard without raising your voice. Stop tolerating the bare minimum when your heart was made for more. The second you start to wonder if you deserve better, that’s your wisdom waking up. Honor it. Understand how rare you are. Realize how beautiful your energy is. Protect it like it’s sacred—because it is. We got this. And the right ones will get you, too.

Stop tolerating the bare minimum. The second you start to wonder if you deserve better, you do.

Much love,

Wren 𓅫

Founder, Zen by Wren